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Joseph Smith's First Vision |
By Greg Knight
Many decades ago, I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was a time in my life where all was promised and all would be given if I stayed true to the words of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Jesus Christ, my local and general authorities, my father and the rest of the brethren in my ward.
It was a sweet time in my life - one that was full of hopes and dreams of a mission, Brigham Young University, a career, a family and the temple.
Somewhere around the age of 14 (in 1988) things changed, however. I lost my faith in such a complete and terrible way that I feared I would hate God for the rest of my life. The teen years bled into young adulthood, then to maturity and all things that life brings your way - work, a wife, a car and responsibilities. For the next 20 years I abandoned all faith in a God, a Christ, and mostly the priesthood.
It is a great shame that, during that time, I was so misled by the forces of evil on this earth that I would toy with elders of the church, those young men out proselytizing for the eternal salvation of souls. I still knew the scriptures and the doctrines and I would purposely try to derail their faith. I am still ashamed of it and I hope that someday I can earn forgiveness for it.
If we fast forward to about 2007, I was living in Northern California. One day, I stumbled upon a great bookstore in the town where I lived. It was a store where if they didn't have the book in stock they could get it one way or another. I had always fancied myself something of a Mormon bibliophile. I loved reading books about the church in its earliest days and was able to obtain a number of books written by church leaders in the 19th and early 20th centuries.
On one of those days in the bookstore, after perusing a catalog of books I could order, I came across an entry for Adam-Michael by Ogden Kraut, and Science, Religion, and Mormon Cosmology by Erich Paul. The titles alone intrigued me, so I ordered the books. When I received them, I devoured them with a tenacity. At first, Kraut's book was a challenge to me, mostly in terms of understanding the concepts he was writing on. However, as time went on, it all began to become clear to me. I half-heartedly prayed about the contents of the books and asked for guidance.
In my life, I have come to the realization that when I pray and receive no answer, it's akin to God saying "no" to me. When I do receive the answer, in the form of a confident belief or understanding, it's God's way of saying "yes" to whatever wisdom I am seeking. That affirmative answer to my prayer of whether there was truth in Kraut's writings came down on me like a ton of bricks. I was instantly awakened to what was true. But that created a dilemma.
Once upon a time, a wise man told me that any Mormon who is halfway intellectually honest with themselves, after studying scripture and the original doctrines of the church (the changes made by the modern LDS church in terms of doctrine and practice are staggering), would have to come to terms with becoming a fundamentalist, or would have to forego the faith altogether. As Mormons, we believe in one, true word and doctrine from God. When He gives a revelation or a commandment that is revealed to be everlasting, it is precisely that. Everlasting.
Thus, when the LDS church changes temple ceremonies and other ordinances, removes second anointings, shuns the commandment of celestial marriage, states that the Adam-God Doctrine was never taught, the de-emphasis of teachings that birth control is an abomination, changes in teachings on the seed of Cain, etc, etc, etc, it can only be assumed that the mother church has lost its way. Eternally revealed principles are exactly that - eternal and unchanging. Yet, the brethren have found it expedient to change that which cannot change. That, my friends, is a travesty.
Between 2008 and the current time, I deepened my knowledge of the scriptures, the original teachings of the church prior to 1896, read the Journal of Discourses, prayed heartily and heavily, and looked around for others who might have the answers I was seeking. It was not until about 2017, when I discovered my half-brother in Alaska (who had also been raised in LDS church, just thousands of miles away and by adoptive parents) that I knew that I had found a partner in faith. He is a holder of the Melchizedek priesthood who guided me toward right principles, all while I told him of my burgeoning hope on the teachings of the early church.
It's funny how it happened. Here I was, a true believer in the fundamental teachings of the church as it was during the times of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and John Taylor, showing a brother who was entirely wrapped up in the mother church that there was another way. My testimony to him created a burning desire to know more, pray more and discover more. Now, here we are on the precipice of starting this forum together, as a way to teach one another, learn from one another, learn from others, and find joy in the beauty of living like Jesus Christ.
This forum, we hope, will begin as the blog you are reading, transform into a website and magazine that will be read by many, and will eventually become a way for us to move forward in unison as believers. We will not censor any views that comport with cleanliness, faithfulness, and an abiding faith in God. We want to hear from everyone who has a story or a testimony to relate. This is your forum and we want you to use it.
You can reach me at fundamentalistmag@gmail.com.
